I let Peyton move in with my brother, her dad after he and Talena married in early 2013. It went against what I felt was best for her, but I allowed it because my brother had done so good the past two years. He even made employee of the month on his long term job he held, and supervised the whole warehouse, and did it like a pro. He was proud of himself, and for once, I saw confidence in him, since he was a very little boy. They were so proud of him too, because they knew his history, beginning in childhood.
My brother did good single, but never in relationships because of his unresolved issues from childhood. Relationships caused triggers for him due to the type of people he chose, and they only fueled his severe PTSD. Peyton wanted to live with her daddy, and Talena made me believe she was a good mom. My gut told me otherwise. Sure, she loved her kids, but so many people fail to realize that stability, good choices in life, and taking care of yourself is where love for your child begins.
Peyton lived with them for six months. During that time, she missed seven days of school, and was late about 10-15 times, it was double-digits though. I had asked her teacher if she noticed anything off during this time to please let me know, and that she was moving in with him on a trial basis. The teacher never did. I reamed her a whole new one when I found all this out and realized then that school was full of lazy teachers, part of why I made the choice to put her in a private school. When Peyton came back to live with us, six months later, it was like getting her from the beginning, she was way behind.
I say all this to say, go with your gut instincts. If something does not feel right, it usually isn’t. My gut instincts have served me well in my life. I have ignored them very few times, but each time I did, I regretted it later.
Recently, someone I trust professionally/legally, and admire as a parent told me to make a decision that could be life altering for Peyton solely based on Peyton, for her overall wellbeing, regardless of anything or anyone else. I was thankful for that advice, and now seeing this memory in the face of this decision, especially, I know we made the right decision.
When you love a child, it starts with putting their complete and absolute overall development first, no matter who you may have to hurt in the process.