Absolute

Terrible morning on the toilet, times four! Haha! I am so paying for the beer last night, and pizza and salad, with blue cheese crumbles, so much fat!! It was the best night though, so much fun, laughter, and tears!! I am getting better though inside my stomach, so hopefully soon, I can hang out without the negative effects the next day. Stress will do a number on your body, let me tell you! 
Last night was so not what I began getting ready for, but we had the absolute best night since I lost my brother. My sister from another mother, Brooke. I love her so much. She has always had my back, even when I was not present. I said the other day that I could only count on one hand the people I could rely on. That was way understated! Even my neighbors. I could count on them with Peyton, that is for certain. They did not have to do ANYTHING for her. They did though, and consistently. I always sent money for her certain things, but every single time, they did not even want it, or put it in an envelope, and made sure Peyton was aware of her spending with it. Point being, we have way more people than five that we can absolutely count on. 
Brooke dated my brother back in the day. She LOVED him so much too! He also loved her, but was such a damaged person. If only he could have remained single. He was so unhealthy in relationships. Triggered easily. Relationships are hard. Especially where there is trauma in development. I can assure you. If anything ever happens to my husband before me, I will die a widow. 
Last night was so much fun! We laughed so hard, even cried a little, and guess what, it wasn’t me! Trust me. My eyes welled up several times, but I controlled it bigtime. I was the instrument last night. Even in parenting, with proven positive results. I felt like the matriarch last night. It felt good. There were so many I would have loved to have been there with us! ❤️
Let me tell you, love, love, and love some more. You have no idea what kind of hell or pain someone is dealing with. Love, respect, and helping others. Those have been my biggest helpers to heal, and grow forward. It is a battle to go through each day for me, for the record. I have a good life, don’t get me wrong. 
Last night, it was the absolute best! It was as much needed for me, as was for them, even as I stood there as the instrument. I adore my sweet husband. I truly do. He has laughed with me always, cried with me, held me when I cried, fought with me, man handled me to calm me down, and always been consistent. I love all these people in these pictures, who have always been there at my absolute saddest times EVER!!! I am telling you, angels walk this Earth in the shape of friends who become your family. 

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