Defendant

I would like to give you a piece of advice that I learned by experience. If you ever find yourself a defendant in the court of law, always, ALWAYS say yes to having a court reporter take down your case, basically recording the case, only typed. It cost money to do, but DO IT! I’m so thankful I did it, in all cases! People forget things when they are lying. They get tripped up.

It was sad what they did to me! It further damaged me. I had a hysterectomy eight months after my brother died, brutal hell for me to recover, because I do what needs to be done. Right after came hernia surgery. I overdid it in recovery of my hysterectomy, and now had to have another surgery to repair this hernia. It literally almost threw me over the deep end with all I was going through, being maliciously attacked in all directions.

My father served me with a permanent restraining order during this time, all lies, and I had to go to Pensacola Florida to defend myself. That in itself was wrong. I live here. A lawyer told me here after the fact, that should not have happened, because we were supposed to have court in my jurisdiction. I really shouldn’t be here. It was so hard, so scary, so sad, and it drained what I had left, it felt like. I would be on the toilet with bloody poop, vomiting at the same time, trying to get it together on court days. I have severe gastritis as a result! Some days, it’s brutal hell dealing with my stomach. It’s way better, and I am so glad!

I am thankful to be here. I am thankful to be on this side of then, but it still sucks some days. I am drowning in sadness today, but I am working, so it helps me stay focused. I miss my buddy. You have no idea how much I physically ache here without him, especially as the memories play over and over in my head of our brutal miserable childhood.

I haven’t found the courage to make a video as I planned. I will. I’m just scared. Scared of my raw emotions.

If you ever hear someone say they are going to kill themselves, point blank, especially with a plan, GET THEM HELP! It may save their lives, and get them to this side of it all. The side where you can breathe deeply and say, I made it. Wow!

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