Gratitude

I have started a gratitude journal to help me regarding my childhood trauma. Father’s Day has always been so hard for me, because the little girl in me longed for my father to want and love me. I dreamed of a father all the cards talked about, and always got so angry reading cards for the occasion. Many times, I left with my heart racing, tears flowing, and no purchased card. Often, it took two or three trips before I made the purchase. 

This year, I decided rather than bash my father for what he did to us in the bad times, I was going to list five good memories I have of him that involved me. I have attached my list for you to see. It does not have to be perfectly written. I laughed thinking about the memories. It was actually good therapy. A release of bitterness. 

Happy Father’s Day, Whalon

Happy Father’s Day in heaven to my sweet brother. I have his voicemail saved on my computer, and I listen to it often. This is his fourth one gone, and it is still as painful as the first one. His absence is brutal, although I do have more good days than bad. I will always miss him. If I truly sit and think about things, I feel sheer panic, as I know there is nothing I can do now to tell him anything. It is hard. 
To those missing their loved ones today, Happy Father’s Day to them! I wish you peace.

Happy Father’s Day to my precious beloved brother, Whalon. I will always miss you and talk about you. I will never let your memory die. 

Happy Father’s Day, Barry!

Happy Father’s Day to my wonderful husband of almost 14 years! He made many sacrifices for children who were alienated against him by their mother after they divorced, then further alienated by his controlling daughter in law and her cult of a crooked family. He loved them still, provided for them, and long after he was court ordered to do so. He bought them both almost new cars, all to be done without any regard for him as their dad. He begged them for sport schedules growing up, yet had to seek it out himself online, as they usually never gave it to him. If they did, it was always last minute without any respect for his schedule or time. I admired him for doing it himself, and going, even though clearly he was cut out of their lives. He had no say so whatsoever in anything to do with them post divorce. Especially when I came along! He was only good for a taxi, money, holidays, and what he could financially provide to them. All because his kids were alienated against him by their hurt mother. He would call them on his scheduled visitation, and nobody would answer the phone. He would go to pick them up, and nobody would be at home. The few times they did come, their mom would call them and upset them terribly, having both in tears, worried sick about what she may do. It usually resulted in my husband taking them home to allow them to calm down. She always made them feel guilty if they enjoyed time with us, and responsible for her feelings. 

By the way, I did not split up the marriage! They split almost four years before me. 

Happy Father’s Day to the man I chose to parent my child with in 2003, then later my niece. One could only be so lucky to have a Barry for their dad! He tried so hard to be a father to his own biological children, but that right was stolen from him. He has been a dad to my daughter since she was nine years old, now almost 25. He was a dad to my niece from age two until almost 13. 

My husband has two grown children, and two grandchildren who do not even know him. The end result of vengeance of an ex from hell who alienated his children, and now a controlling daughter in law from hell, under thumb of her parents’ control, who are awful people. They have full control of the grandchildren, and his family has very limited, supervised time with them, if any at all. 

Shame on those evil people who strive to disconnect children from their own family. You run to church, so ask God about what you have done. You will face Him one day and be held accountable. You cannot run and hide from Him like you do all the people you fool on the surface. 

My husband was a good dad to his kids, always. Fathers are so disregarded, yet so vital for healthy long term development. More should be done to protect and preserve father’s relationships with their own children. 

Shame on women and people who do this! It is your own insecurity that causes you to do such. 

My husband will have the best Father’s Day yet! His kids will miss yet another year of knowing a wonderful man. It will be spent doing all of his favorite things! 

Happy Father’s Day to the alienated dads out there! You did not deserve it, nor did your children. 

Happy Father’s Day to Barry! You deserve it! You were an excellent role model, mentor, fan, disciplinarian, fabulous provider!, and you helped me to raise a solid and well rounded daughter, with a good value set. I thank you for that! ❤️